"What Would You Do?" — How Cat Parents Make End-of-Life Decisions
Saying goodbye to a beloved cat is one of the hardest decisions we ever face. A 2021 study by Katherine Littlewood and her team looked at how cat guardians make end-of-life decisions, and what helps them feel supported along the way. While it was a research study, the findings speak directly to what so many families go through — and how vets can be there with compassion and care.
What Did the Study Explore?
The research team spoke with 14 cat owners in New Zealand who had recently said goodbye to their elderly or unwell cats. They shared their stories, and what helped (or didn’t help) them during that emotional time. Their experiences were grouped into 9 big themes — some focused on their cat’s wellbeing, and others on their own hearts and minds.
What Cat Parents Noticed:
Little changes in behaviour — Things like sleeping more, hiding, or not wanting to be touched were early signs something wasn’t right.
Pain stood out the most — When pain became obvious, it often tipped the scales toward thinking about euthanasia.
Visible aging — Wobbliness, weight loss, or litter box accidents made owners worry their cat's quality of life was slipping.
Others helped them see it — Sometimes a friend or vet would gently point out things that were hard to see through the love and grief.
What Cat Parents Needed:
To feel seen — Owners really valued when vets acknowledged the deep bond they shared with their cat.
To talk openly about death — Normalising these conversations helped families feel less alone and unsure.
Kind, honest communication — A gentle, supportive vet made all the difference.
To feel reassured — Most owners needed someone to say, "You're making the kindest choice."
To know what’s coming — Understanding what to expect helped them feel a little more prepared.
Cats Show End-of-Life Differently Than Dogs
Cats are subtle. They don’t always show pain or illness the way dogs do — and many will hide away when they’re not feeling well. This makes it harder to know when it’s time. Unlike dogs who might become clingy or visibly distressed, cats might simply seem quieter, more withdrawn, or not quite themselves.
Some gentle signs that a cat may be nearing the end include:
Hiding more than usual
Not wanting to eat
Sleeping away from the family
Looking unkempt or not grooming
Changes in litter box use
If you're ever unsure, it’s okay to reach out. You don’t have to wait for it to be “obvious.” Your instincts matter, and a compassionate vet can help guide you through with care and without pressure.
What Can Vets Do to Help?
This study reminds us that saying goodbye isn’t just a medical decision — it’s a deeply emotional one. Families need:
Clear, gentle communication
Kind reassurance
Help noticing subtle changes
Support talking about death without fear or shame
These moments are tender. When we approach them with honesty and kindness, families feel safer, and pets are honoured with the dignity they deserve.
Want to Read the Full Study?
You can read it here if you're interested: What Would You Do? (Littlewood et al., 2021)
If you’re navigating this kind of decision, know that you’re not alone. There are vets who will meet you with softness, help you understand your options, and stand beside you — every step of the way.