What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving the Loss of Their Pet

Losing a beloved pet can be an incredibly emotional and difficult experience. As pet owners, we form deep, meaningful bonds with our animals, and their loss can feel just as painful as losing a family member. When comforting a friend or loved one through this time, it's essential to be mindful of the words we choose. Sometimes, even well-meaning comments can unintentionally cause more hurt.

Here are some things not to say:

1. “It was just a pet.”

While it may be hard for some to understand the depth of the bond between a pet and their owner, this comment can feel dismissive and trivialize the pain someone is experiencing. For many, their pet is family, and this remark can invalidate their grief.

2. “At least it wasn’t a human.”

Grief is personal and unique to each individual. Comparing the loss of a pet to the loss of a human can make the grieving person feel like their emotions aren’t valid. Every bond is different, and their sorrow should be acknowledged without comparison.

3. “You can always get another one.”

While it's true that adopting a new pet can bring comfort in the future, suggesting it so soon after a loss can feel insensitive. Grieving someone’s pet is not about “replacing” the animal. Give them time to grieve without pressure.

5. “It could have been worse.”

This statement can diminish the magnitude of what the person is going through. Grief is not something to measure or rank, and it’s important to let the person express their pain fully.

Be cautious saying the following:

1. “It was their time.”

Although this might be said to offer comfort, it can come off as too blunt or impersonal. Each individual has their own timeline of grief, and hearing this may feel like their loss is being minimized.

2. “They lived a good life.”

While this statement is often true, it doesn’t address the pain of losing someone you love. Instead of focusing on their pet’s life, acknowledge the loss and pain they’re feeling in the moment.

What YOU CAN SAY to Someone Grieving the Loss of Their Pet

Now, let's explore some kind and thoughtful things you can say to someone who is grieving the loss of their pet. Your words can offer comfort, validation, and support.

1. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Simple, but incredibly meaningful. This acknowledges their grief without minimising it, and it shows that you care about their emotional well-being.

2. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”

This statement shows empathy and understanding without offering unhelpful advice. It validates their feelings and lets them know you’re there for them.

3. “I’m here for you if you need anything. We dont even need to talk, I can jsut sit with you.”

Offering your support in a way that allows the grieving person to decide how they need help can be more comforting than making assumptions. Sometimes they just need someone to listen, other times they may need practical assistance.

4. “They were so lucky to have you as their mum/dad/family.”

Acknowledging the love and care the person gave their pet is a meaningful way to show appreciation for their bond. This phrase highlights the special relationship they shared.

5. “You dont need to hide your grief from me. I understand how much (pet’s name) means to you. I’m here if you want to talk or need support.”

Letting someone know that they don’t need to rush their healing process is important. Grief takes time, and offering them space while also reassuring them that you’ll be there when they’re ready is comforting.

6. “Would you like to share some memories of them?”

Encouraging the person to talk about their pet and share stories can be healing. It gives them a chance to celebrate their pet’s life and honor the bond they had.

7. “I’m thinking of you during this difficult time.”

Sometimes just letting someone know that you’re thinking of them can offer comfort. It’s a gentle way to show that you care without expecting them to respond immediately.

8. “Did (pet’s name) like going for a walk in the park? Should we get some coffee and have a walk for them?”

Getting out and doing activities in their pet’s honour is a lovely way to support your friend who is grieving.

Final Thoughts

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and there is no “one size fits all” way to comfort someone who has lost a pet. However, choosing your words carefully and offering empathy, love, and understanding can provide immense support during such a heartbreaking time.

If you’re ever unsure of what to say, remember that your presence, kindness, and willingness to listen are often the most comforting things you can offer. You can always say “I dont know what to say to help but I love you and I am here for you”.